We all have those special seniors in our lives. Whether family friends, grandparents, former teachers, or patients, they are near and dear to our hearts. That is why it is extremely painful to watch the inevitable unfold during the time of the loss of their spouse.
When so much of a person’s life is spent inside of one stable routine, any upset in that lifestyle can be dramatic- especially for an older person. All of the plans they had made regarding their future came to a sudden halt. It would be easy for them to feel the weightiness of this life change and interpret it as a loss of purpose, because they are no longer able to serve and love their spouse.
What they will need most during that season is you. They will need someone who can walk through this journey with them as a shoulder to cry on, an extra resource to call on, or just another person to spend time with. And after that initial season of mourning has subsided, there is one additional thing you can offer which could change the course of their healing and bring them hope after loss: a sense of purpose.
Feeling a sense of purpose encourages the healing process and provides a more positive outlook for the future. When a senior has something to look forward to, it lessens the risk of isolation and depression. By removing these tendencies, you also avoid the potential for substance abuse, which is quickly becoming a more common issue in the senior demographic. After loss, seniors feel a sense of hopelessness and tend to believe they don’t matter. These emotions easily lead to alcohol abuse, or overuse of prescription medications, especially for seniors with a history of addiction. Introducing a sense of purpose during the healing stages can help prevent any of these grief-related tendencies.
Purpose can look like a new hobby, a part-time job, a pet, or a new home. It can also be a series of several short-term projects that help bring a sense of achievement, affirmation, and encouragement into their life. The answers to these three simple questions can help you change a grieving senior’s life for the better. Here are the questions that help your senior find their purpose:
1. What does the senior love to do?
Is there one hobby or topic that the senior is passionate about? What do they absolutely love doing daily? Help remind the beloved senior of that special task that they can focus on. Talk about it with them and inspire them to delve in and learn more about it. Something this simple can spark a hope for their future.
2. What are the senior’s health limitations?
Does the senior have any health limitations that should be considered before they move toward a specific passion. For example, if the senior has limited vision, or muscle fatigue, they might need to focus on a passion or hobby that can be fulfilled without risking or worsening those symptoms.
3. What small steps can they take to drive them toward their goals?
Every goal has a starting point. Perhaps pay for a book or a class that will provide the insight they need for their newfound task. Go shopping with them to help pick out supplies or research a few videos online that will inspire them. They will be more likely to set out on this new adventure if they have a plan in place.
As you answer these questions with your senior, remind them of what it is like to have fulfilled, enjoyable life. Everyone should experience the feeling of being important, especially as they cope with loss. Guide your senior toward living joyfully again, one small step at a time, by helping them find their purpose.
On Saturday 16, 2017 Bread From Heaven Cafe had a fundraiser at Applebee's to raise money for the Soup Kitchen.
We need you! to support our growing soup kitchen for
the Community of Jackson, NJ. Click here to donate.
This is a Community Spotlight video from Jackson Television.
Helen Ludowig, Founder and Executive Director of Bread From Heaven Cafe along with
Fr. John Bambrick of Saint Aloysius Church, Jackson, NJ was recently interview by Jim & Gabriella of Domestic Church Media about Bread From Heaven Cafe.
Bread From Heaven Cafe serves up food and fellowship in Jackson's Knights hall
Story by Lois Rogers, Correspondent
On May 20, Helen Ludowig’s dream of a haven where people could gather weekly to break bread and share fellowship came true in the Knights of Columbus Hall on Bartley Road in Jackson.
For some time, Ludowig had felt called to embark on creating a soup kitchen/food pantry in Jackson where the resident and member of St. Aloysius Parish, observed a growing need.
And on this rare, sunny spring day, Bread From Heaven Cafe, Inc. opened with a flourish. St. Aloysius pastor, Father John P. Bambrick, who had helped with advice along the way, cut the bright yellow ribbon as members of the Knights of Columbus, the township’s ministerium and administration and some 30 volunteers signaled their approval with a round of applause.
Then the doors to the Columbian Room Hall opened and members of the community at large were welcomed to the first of what Ludowig and her team envision as regular Friday get-togethers for anyone in need of a meal and the comfort of companionship.
As volunteers dished up the full course dinner of vegetable soup, salad, pasta, roast chicken and cookies, the amiable Ludowig greeted the more than 20 folks who gathered for the opening, sharing her hopes that they will spread the word of the cafe.
As described in its mission statement, the non-profit cafe/pantry is a “safe haven where everyone is welcome for a hot meal and a food pantry so families can benefit from taking food home.”
When Ludowig shares her own background story, it’s easy to understand what fueled her desire to create an outreach such as Bread From Heaven.
It begins some six decades ago in Trenton when she and her two sisters, Sue and Cathy, lost their immigrant 28-year-old Italian mother to cancer at an early age. With their father unable to care for them, social services were called in she said, and at ages 4, 3 and 2, the little girls were taken to St. Michael’s Orphanage in nearby Hopewell.
“It took three or four years for us to be adopted all together,” she said. But the wait had a very good outcome. The trio was adopted together by wonderful parents. Together, they formed lasting, loving family bonds, she said.
The girls attended St. Peter School, New Brunswick, and when the time came, Helen went to business college in Texas where she hoped to carve out a career. She put aside that ambition, however and returned to New Jersey to stay close to her father after her mother died.
Ludowig worked in various administrative jobs for 17 years in New York and New Jersey including hospitals and said that all of her life experiences led her to want to “give something back.”
A member of St. Aloysius Parish for eight years, she said joined Holy Redeemer Hospice and volunteered to serve Thanksgiving dinners in the area, “but I always felt the need to do more.”
“Long ago, I said to a friend, ‘let’s quit our jobs and open a soup kitchen,” Ludowig recalled, but that dream remained on the back burner while she continued to work.
“I felt that all these years, God put me where he needed me to be,” she said just days before Bread From Heaven opened. “My life was a learning experience,” said Ludowig. Despite some nay-saying from well-meaning friends, she decided to put the experience to work toward a soup kitchen.
Ludowig reached out for direction to Father Bambrick and Olive Taylor, parish marketing director, who shared insight about starting up such an endeavor. She gleaned information from other area non-profits including Holiday Express; helped out at the weekly community meal at Visitation Parish in Brick and other soup kitchens for direct hands on experience and sought the expertise of friends and acquaintances she had made over the years as to ways to seeking funding and the like.
And very importantly, the Knights of Columbus came on board with an offer of their Columbian Room Hall from 11-1 p.m. on Fridays.
In less time than anyone expected – Ludowig included – Bread From Heaven was ready to roll.
Living the Dream
After he cut the ribbon and led the group in prayer, Father Bambrick reflected on the process that led to this day, how Ludowig “observed and learned” what was needed to bring it about, “brought volunteers on board and got them trained. It’s amazing … it was her vision and it was really special how (everyone) worked together in this Year of Mercy.”
Grand Knight Lou McGraw recalled how Ludowig reached out to the Knights. Her request, he said, dovetailed with the Knights focus on charity and they thought it was a good idea to let the cafe use the hall not only on Fridays, but on Thursday nights to set up.
“It’s community, its individuals its helping people who need help,” he said. “I told Helen that we would help, that the Knights have been here for 50 years running (community) events.”
Anne McInerney, outreach coordinator of Northern Ocean Habitat for Humanity and Janice Hennings of Jackson Women of Today, which operates the Jackson Food Pantry, agreed. They were among numerous representatives of area non-profits and churches who came out to support the initiative.
“It will grow,” said Hennings. “And if they need help, I’ll help.”
Cafe to offer ‘Bread from Heaven’ for struggling Jackson families
By Andrew Martins
JACKSON – One woman’s effort to bring hope to struggling families in Jackson will come to fruition with the opening of the Bread from Heaven Cafe at 10:30 a.m. May 20 at the Knights of Columbus, 401 Bartley Road, Jackson.
The new soup kitchen and food pantry is the brainchild of resident Helen Ludowig, who has been preparing for its opening since October.
“We want people to come in and have a hot meal and before they leave, we want to give them groceries for two or three days,” Ludowig said. “We want to help out as much as we can.”
Although Jackson already has a food pantry which is run by the Jackson Women of Today, Ludowig said she also wanted to give something back to the community by helping what she said is a growing number of families who are struggling to put food on the table each week.
“If we have two (food pantries), we can help even more people,” she said.
Ludowig said the inspiration for the Bread from Heaven Cafe came from her own struggles at a young age.
“When I was a kid, my mother died and my father left while my sisters and I were young, so before we were picked up by social workers and taken to an orphanage, we were living on the street,” she said.
Ludowig said her time outside the orphanage system shaped her desire to help others. She eventually worked in hospitals. Over the years, she said, she wanted to start a soup kitchen, but she did not have a chance to do so until she was laid off from her job at a hospital in Monmouth County.
“God made the choice for me. My job was eliminated and after that I thought there was something else I was supposed to do,” Ludowig said. “Ever since I started this, He has brought the right people to help me with this. I want to eventually help people find work so they can build up their self-esteem and help benefit the community.”
For information about how to get involved, contact Ludowig at 732-245-5954 or firstname.lastname@example.org.